Cheering Myself on in Homeschooling

"Why would you homeschool? You should spend that time working."

"Your kids are missing out on so much. They will turn out weird."

"You can't be an expert in all things. Don't be so selfish."

Every homeschooling parent hears these sorts of comments almost daily whenever the subject of homeschooling comes up. Unless they live in an isolated hippie-type commune. Which, I admit, has its' appeal…Still, people are herd animals and I doubt that any of these naysayers realize the impact that their disapproval casts on our own self esteem. It is a difficult job, being a parent, and it gets even tougher as this world gets sucked deeper into the influence of evil. Still, the trend of all things being disposable seems to have encroached on the views of parenting as well. There seems to be us homeschooling, hippie, helicopter parents vs the hands-off, they'll-survive, I-turned-out-just-
fine parents.  Our first world country mindset is that the parent is no longer responsible for the rearing of our offspring. Children are dropped into "HeadStart" programs or Pre-K at 3 years old to learn to share. To print their name. To sit quietly…All the things that once were the responsibility of the parent. I taught in a daycare in the toddler room and saw the blatant shift of power when parents would tell me: "Okay, you can start potty training him (or her) now." Potty training? When did that become part of the teachers' job? On day one, little minds just eager to soak up some information are still arriving largely blank. They don't know their phone number, their birth year, their last name. Parents just don't teach any more. Perhaps this is why the idea of Homeschool fills so many with trepidation.
Well, while there are hundreds of reasons why I, and many like me, choose to homeschool, perhaps one of the first and foremost is that I realize that I am the parent. That means that I am supposed to PARENT. This job title includes caring, disciplining and, yes, instructing, the young lives that come into my realm of duty. If you wake your children, feed them, clothe them and send them to a public institution, only to later feed, bathe and then put them to sleep, WHO is parenting that child? It can't be the person who barely had time to talk while prepping meals. It must be the one who had to guide them;  The one responsible for their safety, guidance and correction in various degrees, be that the principal, teacher or peers. Is that the who the parent should be?
GOD gave me these children to raise. I would never, for one minute, presume to think that our fate lies in anyone else's hands. I have been gifted the opportunity to parent and parent I shall. When my children are grown and others remark on how they "turned out," it will be ME they hold up to commend or criticize. I have yet to hear: "He sure turned into a terrible person. Too bad he got such a bad teacher." The bible is full of direction for the Godly parent and it will be the parent who will one day give answer for the raising of their children. You and you alone are accountable on the raising of these ones before God. Circumstances are varied, and often difficult, but when it really matters, you can find a way. So we make do with very little money. I am not an expert on all things, but I am becoming an expert on my children. And selfishness is the last reason I would give to a homeschooling parent who sacrifices their golden hours to their little ones instead of using the public schools as a free babysitting facility. Homeschooling is the trading off of that "Me-Time," the lack of quiet for a good portion of the day, the lessening of the chores that expand in a house filled with youngsters and the humbling realization that to teach you must constantly learn.
So, whether you are a former teacher, business person, a homemaker or a saint: Homeschooling will be tough. It will try your patience. It will challenge all that you thought you knew. Homeschooling circumvents that separation between yourself and your children, no matter how sorely needed. You will hear judgement from the majority of those that you meet. You will feel condescension from those who took the "simpler path," but rather than letting those ants gnaw away at your self-approval, remember:

Remember that you are building a life-long relationship of love and sacrifice with your children.

Remember that you are embodying Christ-like selflessness in putting their needs ahead of material gains.

Remember that you are protecting and PARENTING in the best way that you know how.

Remember that God entrusts the raising of those children to YOU and you alone.

Remember that there are many out there fighting the same battle as you and we all march under the same banner. Carry on, soldier.

Cheer for yourself, Homeschooling Parent! Cheer for your Brothers and Sisters in this uphill struggle. Write out your motto, your battle cry for the hordes who would discourage you. You don't need their approval! You have your own cheer team right there in the mirror, in the heavens above and seated around the kitchen table. You are more than enough. You are complete with 1, 2, maybe more little extras added on just for fun. Even Olympic athletes only get fifteen minutes of cheering for years of gruelling work. So let me sound the cheering for you: I believe in you! You can do this! Your children deserve this! Your children deserve you!

Let's all remind ourselves who we are doing this all for anyway.

I am going to go do some lesson planning now in this imperfect world.

And I am perfectly happy.

Learning the Teacher...

For those following me on Facebook, you know that this summer delivered the perfect irony of debilitating illness. My poor 5 year old son had to do thrice daily nebulizing treatments that swelled up his eyes and gave him constant nose bleeds, and we are all now in various degrees of hacking coughs, runny noses and headachy grumpiness. In the middle of our scorching summer heat. Tragic, I know. Still, I am learning peace with what is and I must let go of things that are beyond my control; my lack of a garden this year, my overrun lawn celebrating the death of my lawn tractor, and the exciting plans I had hoped to do with my children that are slipping into calmer ones I can handle in my run-down state. We have played in the sprinkler, planted a flower bed and gone swimming. Plus we are achieving with a lot of schoolwork done.

 In that arena, we have the exciting news of a visit in just 2 days time from our schools own vice principal! In discussion with this fine lady, I expressed my frustration at my being overwhelmed with work to catch up and she immediately announced a visit to offer a hand. There are many good ladies, and this one is the best. She will join us for lunch on Thursday and then offer support, advice, and homeschooling tips to get us back on track. I am excited to chat with her also as I have experienced an epiphany this week past and it was one of those painful, raw reality ones. My two daughters, I have always schooled together; Largely due to my own convenience. My second born; Eowynn, was conversational at 12 months old. And by conversational, I mean that people who had never met her before were able to have an intelligent discussion of understanding with her. She is linguistically gifted. She could count to 20 at 8 months old. She has a knack for rhyme and rhythm...She's a freak.

Due to this, I let her race ahead and do her schoolwork at the same pace as Cher. The issue now follows: Cheridynn is very smart, but lacks the uncanny gift for words. She is not behind, she is average... Until I determined to keep the two together and held Cher firmly in hand so she would not leave her talented but day-dreaming sister behind. This fall, my son begins kindergarten. With him schooling, Baby B will want to "school" too. I am now obligated to split classes…and thus the epiphany: My oldest would not be behind if I would let her work at her own pace. As an experiment, I let her work until the 1 hour timer ran out and she completed a full chapter beyond the assigned pages. Just days later, she is some 20+ pages ahead of her sister. And she is HAPPIER. I am ashamed that I didn't see her struggle sooner. Why did I have this need to keep them together? Bonus: Eowynn is working harder now as she sees Cher outdistancing her. I should have done this much sooner.

 For you homeschooling newbies (as I still am), please learn from my example. I am keeping them together in the subjects that require a lot from me: Science, Social Studies and Reading. The rest are at their own pace. I like them to have enough assigned that they feel challenged, but not frustrated. As we are now working on two curriculums, that means one worksheet of Saxon and two pages of Singapore for Eowynn and 2-3 worksheets and 4-5 pages for Cheridynn. She will hit grade three feeling confident, and probably much sooner than xmas, as I earlier predicted. Eowynn is getting a good head start on grade 2. This just goes to show that we all have a whole lot of learning to do. Especially the teachers…
If you are considering homeschooling, or just beginning, remember this. My daughter is 8 and the repeat of a grade will not likely scar her for life. Be open to change and points from others. We are all learning along the way. Stick it out, and follow your child. You are doing great!
When I get discouraged thinking about the mistakes I notice I am making, and, worse yet; those I am unaware of; I try to focus on moments like this…

The other night Cher was tossing and turning, shouting out in her sleep:
"Mom! Quick! Get your hammer! The storm is coming and their roof is GONE! They have no roof and the storm is coming! Mom! You have to fix it! Get your hammer and help them!"

If in her sleep, my daughter thinks that I am a superwoman who, armed only with a hammer, can rebuild an entire roof before a storm hits, then I am doing something right.

It's an imperfect world.

I am perfectly happy. :)

Here We Go!

Well, after shielding request after request to start a blog, I thought I might give it a try. Do my own self-therapy, if you will. I ask that all comments, while very welcome, remain positive. I am only human and will cry like a baby if you are hurtful. ;) So, allow me to introduce myself: I am 36 years old, have 4 amazing children aged 8 and under, live on an acreage in a very small home in a tiny Alberta village, run a gymnastics club that I built myself from scratch, and, perhaps most defining; am a low income widow. It pains me that, of my many hats, this is the most definitive, but in an economic world run by money, we have very little of it, and as a mother, dwelling in an environment defined by love, being a widow means that I loved deeply and am forever marked by the sudden absence of it. My children have filled the void to overflowing and I can say with true honesty that I do not feel a hole in my heart now and am plowing through life with a robust joy that is inevitable when surrounded by the contagious delight that is forever around children. They are magical and I am happiest in the midst of that magic. It is perhaps why, after 2 years of chaos, that I have realized that I have excluded myself from the wonder of my own children. I allowed myself to become so encumbered with things involving other peoples' children that my own were spending the majority of their time on the sidelines. This was completely unfair and dictated a need to change. I took an amazing partner and now I can step back and watch her build a palace from the foundation I started; very exciting! I am taking the summer to regroup and reconnect with my children. Their schooling has suffered severely and we are now in crisis mode to catch it up. We are homeschooling and doing a review to make sure no bases were missed. We went through the entire grade 1 curriculum again and are now part way through the second grade. I aim to be back on target for the fall. We will lose a good chunk of the summer due to class time, but it will be worth it in the end. I will list several of my shortcomings here that I am aiming to tackle over the next while, though a full recounting of my faults would take an entire library of books. Firstly, I am overweight. I know that a number on a scale is not a measure of value, but it most certainly reflects a lack of attention to self. I have managed to chip 10 lbs off this month and hope to keep this trend continuing. Nextly, (is that a word?), I am a hoarder. Third generation, as far as I know, but my mom has done great things in conquering her own struggle in this regard. I am constantly battling this, and am making progress, but I have yet to pinpoint where it originates from. Thirdly, I am a yeller. As my stress increased, so has my temper and I am desperately trying to tackle this one right away. I don't name call or hit when upset, but shouting only teaches avoidance and escalation in conflict resolution. It makes me unapproachable. My children deserve better. I am trying to be aware of this and have asked my monkeys to remind me when I slip up. It is improving. Meantime, my life is full to the brim with goodness; goodness that I hope to draw from to improve myself. I have a solid roof overhead, warmth during our cold Canadian winters, children I can act silly with and whom fill my days and nights with laughter, and a relationship with an amazing and all-powerful God, Jehovah. I cannot guarantee how often I will be posting, nor whether or not I will every have any literary gems to offer, but I invite you to follow, comment, and share your own thoughts on meanderings of life. Delighted to have you here, and thanks for the read!